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Sisters_Of_Pain

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Love brings Pain. Pain brings Love. Life's really just a circle, hmm? [Apr. 6th, 2006|03:34 pm]
Sisters_Of_Pain
crucifix_angel
[Current Mood |touchedtouched]
[Current Music |DC Talk, Like it, Love it, Need it.]

He has a passion about him that tells me of his problems. He has problems, too... He has an elegance that makes me want to be better. He has a spirit that makes me think I can forgive myself. And that's something I can't do that easily.

He once said he was to be a preacher...and I thought "Wow, me too! We can do mission trips together." But now I see him falling....
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He's not just this cool, untouchable guy that everyone seems to think he is. He's not this perfect person. He's just Jeremy...but he's so much more. He's just dark, he's just got short hair, and dark eyes...but he's so much than that as well. His beauty cannot be put to words. I cannot explain how deep I feel for him, I cannot explain why he makes me better...

I don't see him that much...living in Burea will do that to you...and I've never seen him work. But I know that he works hard. And I know that he has these things that plague him, inside. I can see his laugh covering the pain. And I can see his eyes pulling me away from the real situation at hand...

I'm only fifteen...I won't be sixteen for another month and a few days...he's going to be twenty-two this year...I believe in June. My mom never thought I'd like someone six years older than me. She still doesn't think so. "Everyone loves Jeremy." she says. Barbara's my spiritual mother, yet even she refuses to believe it. "I need to set him up with a good woman." She says. She doesn't know that she'd lose my respect if she did that.

His mother is probably the only one I respect right now. She's the one who insisted on my getting a picture of him. She's the one who knows, I think that I care for her son. But maybe even she doesn't know to the full effect of how much.

I've told her, multiple times, that Jeremy has been on my heart. That I know something's wrong. And all she'll say is: "He's having problems, just don't ever forget to pray for him." At least she trusts me that far.

I've never loved anyone, really. I see know that what I thought was love was a simple crush, nothing serious. I loved the boys for their attitude, their looks, whatever. But I love Jeremy for his soul. For every single detail, even the bad ones. Even when I know he might be doing things he shouldn't. Even when I know he's fighting inside, right now. I love him. And that's the truth.

My crushes were always younger than me, {Most of the time.} And most of the time, they were blond. Like two were brown-haired.

Jeremy is six years older than me. Jeremy is dark-haired, with a beard, {and he looks so weird, yet so beautiful with it...and that's something I never could stand...beards...} and he has the most enchanting dark eyes that I have ever seen. Jeremy has a ringing laugh like bells, not chimes. And he sings in a voice that makes me want to cry.

I have honestly cried because I'm happy that I love him...and that's not strange...

He makes me about to forgive my past...a past that nobody knows of...a past that kills me slowly every day. He makes me want to be better...

He makes me a better me...



I suppose this is a love thing, not a sad thing...but just because we're the sisters of pain, does NOT mean that we have to always be in pain...we can love, too.

I <3 you, girls! ~_^
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Fears, I guess... [Apr. 6th, 2006|03:16 pm]
Sisters_Of_Pain
crucifix_angel
[Current Mood |okayokay]

I found myself sick, crying, and repeating three words that, if I had uttered them to anyone else, would not have been believed. But I knew... "I wanna die..." Of course I really don't...but sometimes it seems that death is the only way out...

My biggest fear...I have so many fears...I wonder, if he knows just how deeply I would mourn his death? My fears...some are simple...some are complex, hard to explain. I have simple fears, like fears that Jeremiah will fall in love with someone else, and I have complex ones, that he will follow his brother's footsteps and go to war.

I have been plagued, since I was a child, with the fear that my Daddy would die. Is that my biggest fear? It's one of them. Only one song really fits my fear...and it's a song that he put on our computer a few days ago. A song that kills me, every time I listen to it...

I have fears about my friends. I fear Kylie will kill herself by doing what she does to 'help' herself. I fear that Whitney will cut too close to her veins...I fear that Brandi will fall too far into darkness and I won't be able to bring her back next time. I fear that I will lose Amanda forever. I fear that I will hurt Josh. I fear that Joe will push us all away and be forever alone, at least within his mind. I fear that my mother's cancers will kill her...

I fear that Greg will hurt Heather...I fear that Mikaila will be raped, I fear that Mamaw will die, I fear that Angel will OD or get herself killed, I fear that Casey will do something she regrets...I fear that Jeremiah will not come back to his faith...

And I fear my Daddy will die...

It's kind of strange, in a way...I always thought that my Dad dying would ruin my faith. Yet in my day dream {kylie knows what I'm talking about. NOT visions...dreams in the day...} My faith was what brought me back from going crazy...

Well...fears today...I wonder what's next? Lol...Gosh...
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Welcome To The Freakshow [Mar. 17th, 2006|09:22 pm]
Sisters_Of_Pain

kylie_dotd
[Current Mood |artisticartistic]
[Current Music |Nothing now]

This is a restricted community.
The Weird Sisters are pretty much the only ones to post.
Friends only....DON'T FORGET THAT!
This journal consists of our pain, our love, our hate, our anger, our fantasies, our dreams, our obsessions, our wants, our needs....
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